Remember this summer, when I posted about my quarter-ish life crisis, and how I was on a mission to find what I really wanted in life?
Well, I have good news, and I have “eh” news. The good news is that I’m pretty sure I’ve found what I truly want, career-wise. The “eh” news is that I’m still having a really hard time declaring it. As in, saying it out loud, to anyone other than my closest circle of friends. And even then, it’s usually only uttered once, after much hand clasping, and hemming and hawing.
So what has stopped me each and every time I’ve sought out what beloved-by-Oprah life coach Martha Beck calls my “True North”, the path that would lead me to rowdy bliss? Fear. Fear in all sorts of forms, including but not limited to:
- Fear of failure;
- Fear of being laughed at;
- Fear that my dreams aren’t responsible;
- Fear that I’m not good enough;
- Fear of awakening the voice in my head that snarls, non-stop “who the hell do you think you are to dream so big?” every time I consider following my dreams/bliss/True North;
- Fear that following my bliss is going to be really freaking hard.
I was discussing this over a late lunch yesterday, with a dear new friend who has recently taken a leap of faith. She had the courage to quit her toxic, high paying corporate career, and start her own jewelry company. We had one of those delicious chats that was supposed to last one hour but creeped into four, and she shared the following wisdom that a friend had given to her when she was first considering quitting her job: Sometimes you have to take the leap, and build your wings on the way down.
I love that. So often I find myself waiting for things to be “just right” before I begin. I think, oh, I can’t go for it until I’ve lost five pounds, and have my bangs trimmed, and have saved this much money, and someone, preferably a legend in the field has stumbled upon me at a dinner party and pronounced, within five minutes of meeting me, that I was born to do x, y, or z.
But, I’m realizing that there are no guarantees, I can’t expect the world to convince me that I’m good enough, and there is no better time than the present. So, I’m going to take a leap, and trust that I’ll be able to build my wings on the way down. I’ll be sharing what I learn along the way, once a week here, in a new series I’m tentatively calling “The Pippi Project”, named after the fearless, I-can-do-anything character I adored as a child, Pippi Longstocking.
So here I go: One…Two…Three…
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